Is it enough?

When you're persecuted for being a Christian, isn't it wonderful to know it's because you're living a life of obedience that is pleasing to God and not to the world? When you have to walk through valley, isn't it enough to know that you're lead by the hand of an almighty God who will never leave, not even for a breath of a second? Isn't is beautiful to know that the straight and narrow road that often seems lonely is filled with blessings beyond your wildest dreams? And isn't it awesome to know that though you may be a stranger and pilgrim here, you're really the child of the King who owns it all? Life is a vapor, and then it's gone. Sometimes it just takes a new perspective to realize that the "woe is me" feeling can dissolve just like that when you realize that you've been counted worthy to walk in the footsteps of Jesus.

我爱바나나.

Sometimes it's easy for me to look at someone who is "worse" than I am and criticize them or just make myself feel better. Then it hits me like a wet noodle. Were it not for Gods grace I would be just like every sinner is before their sins are washes away by the blood of Jesus: lost and on my way to hell. My heart is cleansed by the blood and I'm in God's family, but I'm still no better of a person in and of myself than anyone else. I'm still just a sinner who has no good in me save for the Lord dwelling in my heart. So I cannot look at someone else through eyes of a self centered person , but through eyes that use the lenses of God. Eyes of love. Eyes that go past the sin to the need of the heart. To the wandering soul. That where I should be looking.

I taught one of my students how to tie her shoes today. I never thought I'd be teaching a 5th grader how to tie her shoes, but by George I did. And successfully at that! Amazing. But yes that's my awe inspiring thought provoking experience of the day.

I spoke too soon about that whole spring thing. I definitely walked outside today to clear skies and frigid weather. But it's ok because that little tease of spring still keeps my hope alive. All is not lost!!!

I love the fact that God had my every breath planned out before he even created the world. He knew me for all of time. And that tells me right there that I'm stuck firmly in the hands of a more than capable God. It might seem like things are going wrong, but really all is right. Because I know that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord. And that's a promise!!

In valleys, on mountains
Through fire or calm
Each step here is guided
By God

Though trials seem heavy
With storms raging on
I've peace and assurance
In God

In his grace I will walk on
By his love I have a song
I will stumble and fall
But I'm held in the hands
Of God

It won't be much longer
Till sorrow will cease
I'll rest over Jordan
At peace

My sin wil be banished
Because of great grace
And I'll see my Savior's
Sweet face

In his grace I will walk on
By his love I have a song
Soon I'll cast down my crowns
At the beautiful throne
Of God

Peace out for now!!

我是罪人但是上帝爱我。

The Promise of Spring

Haha that sounds like the title of a cheesy romance novel. But I assure you it's not! Today it rained! And you know what that means. Well, maybe not. It means that artic frigid blustery Seoul is experiencing global warming which is not global warming because that doesn't exist but really it's the promise that spring is right around the corner. I realize that it's a false hope, however, because I know that more winter is really around the corner. Hey, I can dream. What it really means is that the snow on the roof is melted and when it dries the stir crazy kids can finally have recess outside so the teAchers can take a much needed break. That is IF things dry. We shall see.

The cat enjoys lounging on my stomach whilst I lie on the bed. Something which he is doing at this very moment. And purring quite contentedy I might add.

One of the third grade boys prayed yesterday and accepted Jesus. I was very happy! We've been praying for him and are still praying for a few other boys in his class. Also, in my class we get off on rabit trails which turn into spiritual Discussions. I try to integrate sin and he'll and salvation as much as possible for the two (possibly 3) unsaved girls in my class. They seem to be more interested, but still have many questions. I keep praying for them, and I know it's not anything I say but it's the Holy Spirit drawing them. I'm thankful that God is working even when I can't see. I know he loves them infinty more than I could ever dream of loving them, and he wants them as his daughters. I will keep praying and trusting the Lord.

I'm so thankful for all I have. For heated floors and a big apartment. For food, clean hot or cold water whenever I want it, an umbrella, blankets, socks and warm clothes, a coat, a hot shower, a wonderful job, the chance to travel and see the world God created, my faith, good Christian friends, a supportive family, a good education, and the list goes on. But so much more than material things, I'm thankful for my salvation. I don't deserve any of these possessions or blessings and even more so I don't deserve to be forgiven. I have a great God and I'm thankful for his unconditional love. I'm thankful he went to a rough wooden cross and took nails in his hands and feet, a mocking crown on his head, and a peirced side. I'm thankful he went to the garbe but rose. And I'm thankful he did all this knowing that I would commit sins that would nails the spikes into his hands and kill him. He went anyways. I'm thankful that I'm forgiven. I'm thankful for true peace and joy that never fades. I'm thankful that I have a home waiting for me in heaven. I'm thankful for a faithful God. I love the fact that when I get to heaven I can thank God for eternity and it still won't be enough. I'm thankful that if all I have is God, I have it all.

A bitter heart, a dying soul
On a wide and darkened road
With head bowed low and courage gone
Stumbled neath a heavy load

But in the stillness came a voice
With a call of grace and hope
Oh weary one come follow me
I have died to save your soul

Then I looked into the tender eyes
Eyes that knew my every sin
Yet still loved this cold and bitter heart
And was knocking to come in

So I dropped my burden there
And I placed my trust in him
And then Jesus showed me joy so full
And he freed my heart from sin

Oh wonderful Lord that saw all my sin
Yet went to the cross to wash me within
By his blood I'm new and gone is my pain
I walk a new road, I have a new song, I'm happy again.


我是罪人但是上帝爱我。

Eyes of Christ

To those who actually read this, sorry I haven't updated in so long. With 2 weeks in china where blogs are blocked, and getting back into the swing of things at school, I've been swamped. But here's some updates. More so what I've been learning. I'll update about china and those stories later.

I always wonder why "small" things go wrong such as walking half way to work and forgetting you didn't lock the door or someone who takes longer than usual crossing the street and therefore makes you wait longer at a stop light which in turn makes you late to work by just a couple minutes. Both things you can prevent and things you can't. But then I think....does God ever do anything without specifically and perfectly fitting it into his will? No. Every times he makes a snowflake fall or a flower bloom or a tear drop or anything for that matter, he has a purpose for it. Even the little seeming annoyances serve some purpose. They might teach us some lessons. We just have to stop and really look at the circumstance and learn something about our perfect God.

China was spectacular. I can say hands down that the best part of my trip ( besides just being in China) was getting to go to a country school with Nathaniel. He teaches about 30 kids each Saturday for several hours in a small town about 1 hour and 30 minutes outside of Shanghai. The kids come just because they want to. When we went, I wasn't surprised by their living conditions. The classrooms had no heat, rusting metal desks, and many of the children were a bit dirty and they were all bundled up in old coats. As soon as we walked through the gate, the boys ran up to Nathaniel and hung on him, hugging him and chattering on in Chinese. The girls eventually warmed up to me and were literally hanging on me for the rest of the day. They really wanted love. After school we went to their houses. They were basically concrete slabs the size of the spare room in my apartment that I don't even use. The lighting was dim and it was sparsely furnished and a bit dirty. These people almost literally have nothing. It was then that God confirmed something for me. These people are the ones that I have to go to. I often think: how many of these people have never even heard the name of Jesus...much less of the amazing salvation they can have! Who wants to go to them? The "unlovely." the poor. Well, not many. But also, I know that there is no way I would ever even come close to loving these people if it weren't for God loving me first and teaching this selfish human to love them in return. Just seeing them gave me a massive desire to learn Chinese and go tell these people how they can have real eternal life, riches that no one can imagine, true peace, amazing joy, and hope that even though they don't live like a king here, they can be heirs of never ending life and children of the highest king. I have that! How could I ever want to keep it silent?? I've been given all that I need in Christ and I want to share that with the world. Why China? I can only wait until I get to heaven to ask my Lord. All i know is that God set up those meetings I had that day. Not just to fan my flame of love for them, but for their future in some way. Will I ever see them Again? Only God knows. But I'm excited to se what the future holds for me in God's will.

I really enjoy teaching at SCS. I don't like to think of it as a job, but as a priveledge and opportunity. So many times I forget why I'm here. It's a Christian school, so if I'm not careful I can get comfortable and just go through the motions. But I have to constantly be in Gods word and talking to him in prayer. Just because I'm surrounded by Christians and I'm able to teach anything from the Bible it doesn't mean I can't stumble or fall. I know for a fact that two of my students aren't saved ( they've told me up front) and how much more should that motivate me to "be an example of a believer in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity"? Those kids are so young and impressionable. This is an ideal time to really teach them who God is and how thy can know him as their savior. Sure, I'm not perfect. I'd be the first to admit that. But God is and he speaks through me. He doesn't ask me to win a certain number of people or do specific great things for Him. He asks me to be faithful in all I do. When I sin, he wants me to ask forgiveness, forsake the sin, and grow from it. Never does he ask me to be perfect. But my life should reflect my God as much as possible. I should desire to show my students and everyone around me how much I love and want to serve God. I'll fall short, but when I stumble, I fall into grace.

No one is perfect
None can make it through this life
Without the tempting
And giving in
No heart will stay pure
Alone no battle we can win
But there's a hope so strong
Each time you fall and sin

Fall into grace
Into the arms of a merciful savior
And let the blood
Wash away your guilt and shame
The father waits
To make you clean and show you you can have a place
It's in the Lord
In the arms of grace

Once I was walking
On a wide road that led to hell
And in the valley
My heart cried out
There Jesus found me
Down on my knees With head bowed low
He lifted up my eyes
And said my little child

I love to watch the snow. It's coming down right now but just tiny flakes. The kind that get caught on the wind and whisp around, flying and swirling. So beautiful! And God gave this gift to me. How amazing. I love that verse in Job 38 where it talks about the treasuries of snow. What an amazing image!!! God creates every flake different and knows where it will land. And he calls it good.

Of all the people God could have loved and chosen, he chose me. When he was dying on the cross he knew every sin of every person for all of time. That included me. He saw all of the sins I would commit against his blood and still he said " I love her and I will die for her." really? yes. That was how powerful and unconditional the love of God is. And then it didn't stop there. On top of salvation, there's forgiveness for each time I sin. There's sweet fellowship and growth and washing. I don't deserve it. Not even a tiny bit, but God showers it on me freely. What an amazing God I serve. What an awesome e God. Also, God created me for a purpose. There is no one that he made that cannot serve him in some way. No matter how small a task might seem, it brings glory to God.

Nathaniel left for Taiwan yesterday. He's going partially blind because he doesn't have a job or a place to live. Of course, Gods already put those things there for Nathaniel, and the man has nothing to worry about. "be anxious for nothing" the plan is perfect. There's a house waiting, a job waiting, and people waiting to meet him. How often do people worry about what will happen next or where they will go?God worked all that out before he laid the foundation of the world. He called it good and put it in his will before time began. There's no way. Christian can be out of Gods care and that care is perfect. Fueled by uncondiional and unending love. So I'll pray for Nathaniel , but I don't have to worry. I'm leaving it in the hands of a more than capable God. I'm leaving my life in the hands who hold the universe. Very strong hands. :)

Not much out of the ordinary goin on in my life right now. It's cold and snowy in Seoul. Very cold and very snowy but very beautiful. I miss china, but I am perfectly content. I'm where God wants and needs me, and I have a job to do here. I'm enjoying getting to know my students more ( I go 3 new. 11 in total) I'm enjoying getting to know my God more as well. I'm joyful, happy, and content. I love Korea and I love being in Gods will. Until next time!

Peace.

You Know You've Lived in Korea Too Long When...

1) You forget to use articles when speaking
2) You can only remember the Korean word for something and not the English word
3) You bow to everyone...even Americans...
4) You give your money to the cashier using two hands
5) You have no problem with pushing people out of the way
6) You stop at the top of the escaltor to plan your day
7) You stare and comment when you see a foreigner
8) You barely notice people staring at you
9) Konglish comes naturally
10) You own plenty of forks but never use them
11) You're ok with eating in barefeet in a restaurant
12) You feel safe all the time except when you're around foreigners
13) You find it strange if there is no corn on a pizza
14) You answer every phone call with "Yoboseyo?"
15) You see a roll of toilet paper on a restaurant wall and think nothing of it..in fact, you use it because you are thankful for the abundance of napkins
16) You use scissors to cut all your food
17) You can walk down the street at 2 in the morning and not be afraid at all
18) You refuse to hang out in Itaewon
19) You don't bother lining up
20) You replace the word "yes" or "ya" with "uh uh uh" (grunt)
21) You see a kindergartner on the subway alone and think nothing of it
22) You don't have to turn around to see if cars are coming...you just know and glide to the side
23) You ALWAYS take your shoes off before going into a house
24) You're really good at rock, paper, scissors
25) You can hum the song that plays in the subway and mimic the announcers
26) You take multiple pictures of yourself with your cell phone all the while not cracking a smile
27) YOu use instant coffee packets but you only fill the cup half full
28) You don't drink water with your meals
29) You carry toilet paper around with you because you know the public bathrooms might not
have it
30) All white people look the same to you
31) You see a real bathtub and stare at it in wonder
32) You're used to having the door swing shut in your face
33) You don't even flinch when the taxi driver cuts off a bus and misses it by inches
34) You're shocked when you see a trashcan
35) You can stand up in a bus without holding on

more to come...

"Rejoice always" 1 Thess. 5:16.

I love that verse, but I forget it so easily. Rejoice always. A simple command that means so much in 2 short words. Does it mean "rejoice unless you have a trial" or "rejoice when everything is going great?" No, it means just what it says : rejoice ALWAYS. Dictionary.com defines "always" as : all the time; continuously; uninterruptedly; forever; in any event; at any time." There is never a reason for a Christian not to rejoice. What about trials? I like to ask myself some questions when I'm tempted not to rejoice because of a trial. 1) Is God always in control? (yes) 2) Does God always give His children what is best for them at the time according to His perfect will? (yes) 3) Will God always give the strength to get through each trial? (yes) 4) Does God know the outcome of the trial (yes)....and the questions could go on and on. Point being, God knows, He cares, and He's with us. There's never a time when God says "Here's a trial. I'll be back in 2 days. You handle it for now." No. God never leaves and never stops helping us carry our load. So, the question again: What about trials? A Christian can rejoice in trials. Trials help us to see our inadequacies and turn to God for strength. They also teach us about who God is, and they help us to become more like Him. He knows what we need, and that's what He'll give us.

Rejoice always. So important to remember, yet so easy to forget. Don't just rejoice when the sun shines, but rejoice when it rains.

When you say:

“I can’t figure this out”
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“I can’t do it!”
God says: “You can do all things (Philippians 4:3)

“I feel so alone”
God says: “I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

“I don't have what I need ”
God says: “I will supply all your needs” (Philippians 4:19)

“I’m afraid”
God says: “I have not given you a spirit of fear” (2 Timothy 1:7)


"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, they are plans for good, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"I love the Lord because He hears my voice and prayer for mercy. I will pray as long as I have breath." Psalm 116:1-2

I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust. Psalm 91:2

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair. 2 Corinthians 4:7-8

For I the Lord God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee. Isaiah 41:13

I will love Thee, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my Rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalm 18:1-2

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee; because he trusteth in Thee. Isaiah 26:3

But thanks be to God who giveth us the VICTORY through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians15:57

"There is no need to worry about what will happen tomorrow, because God knew what would happen tomorrow before yesterday happened." (Hope that doesn't confuse anyone!)

Things here have been pretty busy what with the Christmas program and all. That was Friday night from 7:30-10, but the kids came at 1 and we had class until 3 and then practice. Because my kids are in 5th grade, they are in the elementary program and then they are in the beginner band and orchestra with the high school. So, right after the elem. program finished, I had to whisk them upstairs to change. I'm running from basement to 3rd floor down to 2nd back to 3rd then up to 4th then back to 2. I get them down the the basement on the stairs where I find out they're way too early so I take them back up to 2nd then back down. Still too early so back up then back down. It was really crazy but SO fun! At least I had fun! :) Not sure how some of the other teachers felt. But, it's done. Praise God it went well. A few mess ups here and there, but overall it was great.

I leave for China on Saturday afternoon! YAY! I couldn't be more excited! We'll be in Shanghai from the 19th to the 22 and then onto Xian until the 25th. We'll be in Shanghai again from Christmas day until January 2nd. I'm so excited!!! :D I'll get to use my limited Chinese once again. And when I say limited, I mean LIMITED!

Well, I'm off for now. I have a lot of work to do still in the classroom. Peace.

It's Dark Outside

Actually, it is dark outside right now. That's because I am sitting at the computer in the library staring out the window while I attempt (key word being attempt) to enter grades into the new online grade book. It would be easy expect that sometimes I'm a little electronically slow. I got 2 classes put in just in the later hour. I'm pretty tired so I think I'll head home very soon.

Nathaniel left *shed a tear*, but I will see him in 10 days. Actually, less that that. I'm very excited to go to China!! I've been studying Chinese again the last couple days. I can read and write 你 (you), 好 (good), 叉 (fork). 公园 (park), 船 (boat), 出租汽车 (taxi), 茶 (tea), 我 (I), 也 (also), 高兴 (happy), 哥哥 (older brother), 很 (very), and a few more...pretty good for 2 days! haha It's going to be slow, but I actually enjoy learning the characters rather than sounding out a word letter by letter ( because each character=one word) They're random words, but I can say simple sentences like "Hello, how are you? I'm fine and you? I'm fine as well." At least I can be polite!!

The Christmas program is coming up on Friday. It will be a long day, but I'm sure all the parents will enjoy it. The elementary is doing the story behind the song "Silent Night." It's going to be very cute, and they've worked very hard! I can't believe it's less than 2 weeks until Christmas break! I feel like just yesterday I landed in Korea in August!

I'm looking forward to going home this summer to visit my family and go to the wedding of my 哥哥. It should be fun! I love Korea, though, and I'm starting to think of it as home.

Oh, glory be! April, one of the women in our church and also a friend of mine, got saved on Sunday!!!! I had been praying for her since I met her a few weeks after I came to Korea, and others had been praying for her for a looooong time before that. But, God drew her to Him and saved her! Now I have a new sister!! I was so excited for that!

This Saturday is the last week of Korean class. I've really enjoyed it, because I haven't taken any kind of language class in so long! Korean is a HARD language. I think Chinese will be easier. MUCH easier.

Well, better run. My bed is loudly calling my name. Pardon any grammar/spelling/punctuation mistakes...I've found my English going downhill since I came here. :) Peace!

Oh and also it snowed yesterday!