Eyes of Christ

To those who actually read this, sorry I haven't updated in so long. With 2 weeks in china where blogs are blocked, and getting back into the swing of things at school, I've been swamped. But here's some updates. More so what I've been learning. I'll update about china and those stories later.

I always wonder why "small" things go wrong such as walking half way to work and forgetting you didn't lock the door or someone who takes longer than usual crossing the street and therefore makes you wait longer at a stop light which in turn makes you late to work by just a couple minutes. Both things you can prevent and things you can't. But then I think....does God ever do anything without specifically and perfectly fitting it into his will? No. Every times he makes a snowflake fall or a flower bloom or a tear drop or anything for that matter, he has a purpose for it. Even the little seeming annoyances serve some purpose. They might teach us some lessons. We just have to stop and really look at the circumstance and learn something about our perfect God.

China was spectacular. I can say hands down that the best part of my trip ( besides just being in China) was getting to go to a country school with Nathaniel. He teaches about 30 kids each Saturday for several hours in a small town about 1 hour and 30 minutes outside of Shanghai. The kids come just because they want to. When we went, I wasn't surprised by their living conditions. The classrooms had no heat, rusting metal desks, and many of the children were a bit dirty and they were all bundled up in old coats. As soon as we walked through the gate, the boys ran up to Nathaniel and hung on him, hugging him and chattering on in Chinese. The girls eventually warmed up to me and were literally hanging on me for the rest of the day. They really wanted love. After school we went to their houses. They were basically concrete slabs the size of the spare room in my apartment that I don't even use. The lighting was dim and it was sparsely furnished and a bit dirty. These people almost literally have nothing. It was then that God confirmed something for me. These people are the ones that I have to go to. I often think: how many of these people have never even heard the name of Jesus...much less of the amazing salvation they can have! Who wants to go to them? The "unlovely." the poor. Well, not many. But also, I know that there is no way I would ever even come close to loving these people if it weren't for God loving me first and teaching this selfish human to love them in return. Just seeing them gave me a massive desire to learn Chinese and go tell these people how they can have real eternal life, riches that no one can imagine, true peace, amazing joy, and hope that even though they don't live like a king here, they can be heirs of never ending life and children of the highest king. I have that! How could I ever want to keep it silent?? I've been given all that I need in Christ and I want to share that with the world. Why China? I can only wait until I get to heaven to ask my Lord. All i know is that God set up those meetings I had that day. Not just to fan my flame of love for them, but for their future in some way. Will I ever see them Again? Only God knows. But I'm excited to se what the future holds for me in God's will.

I really enjoy teaching at SCS. I don't like to think of it as a job, but as a priveledge and opportunity. So many times I forget why I'm here. It's a Christian school, so if I'm not careful I can get comfortable and just go through the motions. But I have to constantly be in Gods word and talking to him in prayer. Just because I'm surrounded by Christians and I'm able to teach anything from the Bible it doesn't mean I can't stumble or fall. I know for a fact that two of my students aren't saved ( they've told me up front) and how much more should that motivate me to "be an example of a believer in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity"? Those kids are so young and impressionable. This is an ideal time to really teach them who God is and how thy can know him as their savior. Sure, I'm not perfect. I'd be the first to admit that. But God is and he speaks through me. He doesn't ask me to win a certain number of people or do specific great things for Him. He asks me to be faithful in all I do. When I sin, he wants me to ask forgiveness, forsake the sin, and grow from it. Never does he ask me to be perfect. But my life should reflect my God as much as possible. I should desire to show my students and everyone around me how much I love and want to serve God. I'll fall short, but when I stumble, I fall into grace.

No one is perfect
None can make it through this life
Without the tempting
And giving in
No heart will stay pure
Alone no battle we can win
But there's a hope so strong
Each time you fall and sin

Fall into grace
Into the arms of a merciful savior
And let the blood
Wash away your guilt and shame
The father waits
To make you clean and show you you can have a place
It's in the Lord
In the arms of grace

Once I was walking
On a wide road that led to hell
And in the valley
My heart cried out
There Jesus found me
Down on my knees With head bowed low
He lifted up my eyes
And said my little child

I love to watch the snow. It's coming down right now but just tiny flakes. The kind that get caught on the wind and whisp around, flying and swirling. So beautiful! And God gave this gift to me. How amazing. I love that verse in Job 38 where it talks about the treasuries of snow. What an amazing image!!! God creates every flake different and knows where it will land. And he calls it good.

Of all the people God could have loved and chosen, he chose me. When he was dying on the cross he knew every sin of every person for all of time. That included me. He saw all of the sins I would commit against his blood and still he said " I love her and I will die for her." really? yes. That was how powerful and unconditional the love of God is. And then it didn't stop there. On top of salvation, there's forgiveness for each time I sin. There's sweet fellowship and growth and washing. I don't deserve it. Not even a tiny bit, but God showers it on me freely. What an amazing God I serve. What an awesome e God. Also, God created me for a purpose. There is no one that he made that cannot serve him in some way. No matter how small a task might seem, it brings glory to God.

Nathaniel left for Taiwan yesterday. He's going partially blind because he doesn't have a job or a place to live. Of course, Gods already put those things there for Nathaniel, and the man has nothing to worry about. "be anxious for nothing" the plan is perfect. There's a house waiting, a job waiting, and people waiting to meet him. How often do people worry about what will happen next or where they will go?God worked all that out before he laid the foundation of the world. He called it good and put it in his will before time began. There's no way. Christian can be out of Gods care and that care is perfect. Fueled by uncondiional and unending love. So I'll pray for Nathaniel , but I don't have to worry. I'm leaving it in the hands of a more than capable God. I'm leaving my life in the hands who hold the universe. Very strong hands. :)

Not much out of the ordinary goin on in my life right now. It's cold and snowy in Seoul. Very cold and very snowy but very beautiful. I miss china, but I am perfectly content. I'm where God wants and needs me, and I have a job to do here. I'm enjoying getting to know my students more ( I go 3 new. 11 in total) I'm enjoying getting to know my God more as well. I'm joyful, happy, and content. I love Korea and I love being in Gods will. Until next time!

Peace.