A Portrait of My God: Unchanging

What if we had a God that changed? A God who's moods were different, and who changed his mind or his characteristics? I'm happy (so happy) to say that my God NEVER changes. He always was and always will be the same. Perfect, holy, loving, true, righteous, powerful, and the list goes on and on. The world and the people in it continue to change, but God never does. Things happen in our lives that make us rejoice or cry. We fail, we love, we grow, we begin to think differently, we change certain behaviors, etc. God doesn't do that. He's always the same.

Ages come and fade

Kingdoms rise and fall

Seasons change

But Jesus is always the same

Seas have storms then calm

Flowers bloom and die

Time is fleeing fast

But Jesus is the same through all of time

So holy, so righteous

So powerful and true

So wonderful

In all you do

I offer up my praises

To one who never changes

For all the ages, Lord,

You are the same

Blessings fall on me

And I walk through fire

I grow weak

But Jesus is always the same

Heartaches come and go

Though I question why

I can rest on this

That Jesus is the same through all of time

My healer, my portion

My comforter and Friend

Your promises

Are always true

I offer up my praises

To one who never changes

For all the ages, Lord,

You are the same

My shepherd, my leader

My Rock and hiding place

You love me still

No matter what I do

I offer up my praises

To one who never changes

For all the ages, Lord,

You are the same

A Portrait of My God: Loving

I love the hymn "The Love of God" and especially the lines "could we with ink the oceans fill, and were the skies of parchment made. Were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade. To write the love of God above would drain the oceans dry. Nor could a scroll contain the whole though stretched from sky to sky." And it's so true. There is no way to really explain the love of God.

Some things that amaze me about God's love is that He still sees me, hears my prayers, and is with me. And that He died for me. That He chooses to consider me a treasure even after all that I've done. All that He is and does shows His love for His children.

You spoke and there was light

Sunshines and oceans and rain

Your voice has calmed the seas

Healed the blind, made the lame rise

Who am I that I should hear

You speak to me gentle and kind

Calling me yours, saying I'm free

Your Word shows me your love

You saw the broken and weak

Calling and begging to you

You reached out with your hands

Gave hope and strength and saved their souls

Who am I that you should see

All I have done and still love me

Calling me yours, saying I'm free

Your Word shows me your love

You walked among the lost

Finding the sinners and poor

Making them new and loved

Gave of your wealth, you gave of your life

Who am I that you should die

For one who cursed your precious name

Calling me yours, saying I'm free

The nails show me your love

Your life shows me your love

A Portrait of My God: Forgiving

So, I decided to write a collection of poems/songs that paint a portrait of God and His attributes.

The first one is that He is forgiving.

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Ephesians 1:7 "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace."

Colossians 2:6 "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him."

From my knees I look up

Into your face, my King of Grace

Humbled and broken by my sin

I long for joy within

All my life I have searched

For truth and peace, Lord to be free

Now as I'm kneeling at your feet

I ask you to make me clean

I hear you say, "Lift up you face.

You are forgiven my child"

The blood you shed upon the cross

Covers this sinner so vile

Here at your throne, standing alone

I find your mercy is free

I shout your name and gratefully say

You pardoned me

I am new, praise your name

Nor more in chains, no more to blame

For you have taken all my guilt

And made it all your own

I'm a light to the lost

Shining brightly in the darkness

Telling sinners of your great love

And how they can find rest

I hear you say,"Walk in my way

Faithfully serving your Lord.

For you I died upon the cross

Now in my love you're adorned."

Here at your throne, standing alone

I give my life to my King

I should your name and gratefully say

You pardoned me

Surprise

It's been almost 2 months since I moved to New York, and I have to say that I love it. I love everything about my job. I love that I get to play with precious kids (who, yes, are still kids and sometimes naughty) and be a kid myself again. I love cleaning this big old house and making it neat and tidy. I love the diversity of the city. There are so many different languages that can be heard as you walk down the crowded streets, there are as many skin colors and clothing styles as you can think of, there is beautiful architecture, and there is an endless supply of things to do. You could live here all of your life and never even scratch the surface when it comes to activities, restaurants, shops, etc. And that makes life here never dull.

I was able to fly to South Carolina for the Labor Day weekend to see Sara June and Nathaniel and some other friends. Here's the story:

I decided that it had been too long since I had seen SJ+N, so I bought a plane ticket to Greenville and rented a car. I left my house at 11pm on Friday night and arrived at Newark Airport at about 1am. The airport was pretty much empty, so snuggled under my ever present pink blanket (that has been around the world with me) and attempted to get a good night sleep. It didn't work so well. A combination of the hard ground, announcements every 10 minutes, bright lights, and an air conditioning vent that was directly above me and pumped out cold air all night, made for a restless sleep. I probably got about 4 hours of broken sleep. The flight was short, and I promptly passed out after I got to my seat. I woke up when we touched down. I had butterflies in my stomach as time dragged slowly while I waited in line to get off of the plane and pick up my rental car. I drove to Sara June's salon and arrived about about noon. She was extremely busy, so one of the girls asked SJ to come downstairs when she had a minute. Poor unsuspecting SJ came down to see why she was needed, and I popped up from behind the counter and said "Surprise!" The look on her face was priceless as she asked "What are you doing here?" Then, she burst into tears and hugged me for a long time. Let's just say the surprise worked and it was stellar. :D

After she got off work, we picked up pizza for dinner and went back to her apartment. Her husband opened the door, and when I walked in he said "Oh, hey, Anna." As if nothing was new. We had a good laugh. During the trip I was able to see some of my former professors and friends from college. It sure was strange going back on campus. SJ, N, and I had a great time hanging out, visiting their awesome church, going to Yogurt Mountain, shopping, and playing board games (I lost...every time.) It was a relaxing, exciting, awesome trip, and I had to leave waaaay too soon. At least I'll get to see them at Christmas!!

Now I'm back in NY after an uneventful early morning flight on which I slept the entire time. It's a dreary, rainy day that screams fall, but I'm thankful for a warm, dry house. I'm glad to be back with family2, but I sure do miss family1.

God has blessed me soooo much with a great job, an awesome family2, and beautiful, exciting city, and His love.

I was walking back in the rain feeling a bit waterlogged, and I thought about how I don't care for the rain unless I can be indoors. Then I wrote this poem as I walked.

This is the day

That my Father created

The sunshine and rain

The love and the tears

This is a day

Where God walks beside me

Through victories and heartaches

Through peace and through fears

I will adore Him

Lift up my praises

For He has blessed me

With every breath

I'll rest in His comfort

And joy in his care

And know with this day

I've been blessed

This is the day

That my Lord has created

So I may serve Him

And tell all the lost

Of His great grace

And life everlasting

And how they can know Him

And love Him today

I will adore Him

Lift up my praises

For He has blessed me

With every breath

I'll rest in His comfort

And joy in his care

And know with this day

I've been blessed

A Not So Strange Land

Hello from The Big Apple. Yes, New York City is where I've landed after my two year stay in South Korea. Although my new job has nothing to do with what I studied at University nor with what I've been doing for the past two year, I couldn't be more excited about my new line of work.

I'm a nanny!

My job is to take care of two beautiful, intelligent, independent, and strong willed boys who have quickly stolen my hugs, my kisses, and my heart. We've had a few rough moments already, and the transition from the previous nanny (who was awesome) to me will take some time, but I'm learning and they're learning. I have confidence that things will fall into place. Now if I can just get past their "testing" stage. :)

It's July 21, and the summer has flown by at the speed of light. Ok, not quite that quickly, but you get the idea. After spending two very sunburned weeks on Victoria Island with my sister and brother-in-law, I was able to go on a road trip with my sister to the Oregon coast and to Idaho. A-mazing! Decked out in our newly tie dyed shirts, sunglasses, and cameras, we took the coastal highway from Astoria to Florence. The highway hugged the coastline and provided gorgeous views of the Pacific Ocean. We stopped in the adorable town of Seaside where we ate at the Pig N' Pancake (which I highly recommend), drank malts, and successfully built a bonfire on the beach in the rain. Between Seaside and our next stop, Lincoln City, we stopped at the Tillamook Cheese Factory for some stellar ice cream and squeaky cheese curds. From the observation window we were able to watch the workers, who looked like little hamsters, cut and package the cheese. We then spent the night in Lincoln City where we watched the Canucks lose the Stanley Cup. Now, I don't like hockey, but I supported Esther by painting my nails with team colors, wearing team colors, and helping her scrub (and I mean scrub) the car paint off the windows after the Canucks lost. After a bonfire (minus the rain), we slept and headed to Florence. We were able to stop at Heceta Head Lighthouse where we met up with Holly, a good friend of mine. We climbed the dunes in Florence and walked on the beach. Holly let us stay at her house on Triangle Lake, and we built yet another bonfire, ate hot dogs, and roasted marshmallows. Esther bravely made the 9 hour drive to Boise, Idaho where we attended my cousin's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding! I was able to see family that I hadn't seen in years, and we had a grand time. After leaving Idaho, we drove to Bend, Oregon and stayed with my grandparents. They treated us with a trip to Crater Lake. Alas...the trip had to end. But it ended at my parents house with home videos, and we laughed until we hurt. Was I really like that when I was little?

After the awesomeness of the road trip, I was able to spend time with ma mere et mon pere. I got to paint pottery with my mom, go shopping, walk on the beach with them, watch more home videos (yes, the videos prove it...) I was also blessed with a 24 hour flu bug...maybe blessed isn't the right word. It was also great to see my church family again along with my babies who are growing up MUCH too quickly! There was never a dull moment during my summer. David and Allie came to visit, and we saw my other grandparents, watched even more home videos, and went to some of our old hangouts. We headed up to Kelowna to see our cousin, her husband, and her a-dorable baby boy. After having lunch with them, we headed up to Salmon Arm to see our Uncle Paul and Auntie Karen and our cousins and second cousins. It was there that I did something for the very first time...camping! I actually set up a tent in the woods...ok, well, in a campground...and sat by a fire and went boating. I also got dragged behind the boat while holding on for dear life to a tube as I flew in the air and slammed into waves. 4 times. The sky was clear and blue and it was sweltering until the second day after lunch. That's when the rain came. And didn't stop. And rained us out. And I moved out of my one-person-barely-long-enough-for-a-mouse-dog-house-style tent into the 8 person mansion that David and Allie shared. And the rain continued. In the morning we took down soggy tents, packed up clothes that smelled of camp fire, and drove home through the windy mountain roads. The day after we got home, we went to a barbecue where I met even more extended family. This trip was all about family. :)

After all the excitement of road trips and camping and barbecues and tiny tents died down, I repacked my suitcases, got on a plane (well, there was a little more to it than that), and flew to New York.

I decided to stay in a hostel in Manhattan for a night so I could explore and run some errands. Mail my health insurance papers: check. Set up a bank account: check. Stand in line at the DMV for 2.5 hours only to have them tell me that my license wasn't at least 6 months old because I had just renewed it last month and so they had to turn me away: check. 2 out of 3 isn't bad...

I walked...and walked...and walked...and um, walked. And while walking a realized something: I heart NY. There is never a shortage of things to see or do. I love hearing all of the different languages being spoken, I love seeing all the beautiful architecture, I love the new smells and sounds, I love the tall buildings and the taxi cabs, I love all the different neighborhoods, I don't love the heat, and I love my new job.

Back to that. The boys are 3 and 5, cute as buttons, very smart, and all boy. We all live in a 4 story home (my room is at the top of the 51 steps) with a lot of character and charm. I think that the more places that I live, the more quickly I adapt and get settled. Life hasn't fallen into any routine yet, but in time it will. I couldn't ask for better employers, and I'll never know why I've been so blessed.

The house is on a quiet, tree lined street and is within walking distance from the schools which the boys will attend in the fall. There are quaint little shops, and it's a rather quiet area of town. One thing I noticed about this area is that there are a lot of dogs and a lot of kids. There is a huge park up the street and it has a zoo and several playgrounds. The beaches of Coney Island are only a short subway ride away, and Manhattan is also close by. Let's just say we'll never run out of things to do.

So far I've been able to see the Statue of Liberty (or Liverty, as Milo calls it) and Ellis Island, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Wall Street Area, China Town, Little Italy, Soho, TriBeCa, Ground Zero, Columbus Circle, some places around 34th St., and Coney Island. Everyday I fall more in love with my new home.

David and Allie decided to come up and visit me and are now staying with us. We've had a blast hanging out.

I'm so excited for this opportunity that I've been given. I've been way too blessed with this new job, and I can't wait to see what the future holds!

Peace.

Weekend Guest

Loosely based off a passage I read in my Bible last night.

1. The way that I once was

Is not who I am now

For sin is dead to me

And I am raised with Christ

The old has been shed off

The new has been put on

And sin has no more place

The guilt and shame is gone

Because of love

I am changed, made new

Because of mercy

What my Lord went through

When He died for me

And took my blame

Oh what freedom, what wonder

Because of grace

2. I seek the things above

And not the things of earth

I am not more a slave

I am of noble birth

I serve the King of Kings

My life is hid in Him

I am His chosen one

And I give thanks and sing

Because of love

I am changed, made new

Because of mercy

What my Lord went through

When He died for me

And took my blame

Oh what freedom, what wonder

Because of grace

3. And soon He will appear

The one who is my life

Who is my all in all

And on that day I'll rise

To take my final rest

With one who loved enough

To take this sinful child

And call me His beloved

This weekend I'm having company stay at my house! I would be excited, only this is not the type of company that most people want. It comes in the form of tissues, cold medicine, cough drops, soup, and my most comfortable hoodie. Yes, I have a cold. My best bet is that over half of the teachers are sick with numerous students thrown in for good measure. It was inevitable. I popped into the pharmacy today, pointed to my throat and nose, gave him a good cough, and was handed a familiar looking box of cold medicine. Oh well, such is life. At least my house will get sparkling clean.

Is it really March 5 tomorrow? Time is whizzing by like a...real fast thing. Soon it'll be April and then Spring Break and then May and then June and after June it's adios Korea and hello North America. I'll miss Asia. I'll miss the people and how they have no personal space. I'll miss the markets and all night shopping. Don't tell anyone I said this, but I'll even miss standing in the metro body to body literally with no room to move. I'll miss crazy old men yelling at me and old ladies pushing past me to get onto the metro. I'll miss kimchi and rice and seaweed triangle. I'll miss (this really is lovely sometimes) not being able to understand what is being said around me. I'll miss the random clothes, shoes, and accessories. I'll miss cheap shopping and cheap taxis. I'll miss feeling safe walking the streets late at night. I'll miss the bridge over the river and the first grade children talking on their cell phones while walking home alone at 10pm. I'll miss shabu shabu...greatly. I'll miss random kids shouting HI because that's the only word that they know. But I know that as much as I miss it, I'll love the next place just as much. I'm so excited to see where God directs my steps and how He uses me.

If in God's will, where can I go that the peace of God will not envelop me? Where the strength of God will not empower me? Where is the place where God's grace is not bountiful and His love not unconditional? Is there a place where the devil has control over God? Find me a place where God cannot see me, help me, comfort me, or rescue me from any type of evil. Find a place where God is not, and I will not to go to that place to reach the lost. Impossible. Is it even necessary to say that God is with me wherever I go?

Peace.

February Recap

February came and went in a whirlwind of activities. Please don't mind the hodgepodge of different memories...

Asian's are masters of the rice cooker. It should be called "the multi-purpose heated bowl of wonder." Besides cooking rice, you can:

Boil eggs

Cook meat

Make pasta

Make pancakes

Bake bread

Some beauty parlors use it to warm damp towels (others use crock pots)

Steam potatoes or any veggie

Use it as a soup heater

make scrambled eggs

and may other uses....

My 5th grade class was learning about China in order to present the country for international day. We learned songs in Chinese, brought different items from China, made crafts, posters, and colored flags. I was able to take my students to China town. China town is...very small. It takes a little over an hour by metro to travel there. We walked around, ate Chinese black bean noodles (a favorite!), and looked at the plethora of toys and other items. China town is located about 10 minutes by bus from an island, and we took a bus to the waterfront where we walked around the still melting piles of snow. We watched the ferries come and go, played the half-broken and deserted arcade games, and found a small amusement park with a few brave souls that had ventured out into the cold. My kids bought some toys and trinkets, and we made it back just in time for the end of school. It was quite an enjoyable field trip. International Day went well. No melt-downs on my part, though it was a bit stressful.

We celebrated Lunar New Year by taking a short break from school. A few of us went to Spavis. Spavis is a "spa" which is about 2 hours by metro from where we live. It's not a typical American style spa. There are rooms with heated floors and wooden blocks for pillows for resting, dry saunas, and pools of various sizes, temperatures, colors, and scents. There is an indoor and outdoor area with kiddie pools, playgrounds in the water, slides, private hot tub shacks, jets, waterfalls, and beach chairs. It's interesting because you swim outdoors while there is snow on the ground. They have karaoke contests, and lazy river, and places for massages. There are also doctor fish which are large pools full of goldfish size fish which surround your body by the hundreds (literally) and eat the dead skin off your body. It tickles like mad! When you enter the spa you get a plastic bracelet with a number. This bracelet unlocks your locker, pays for life jackets or inner tubes, pays for food or anything you buy. It's like a credit card on your wrist. When you leave, you pay the balance. Quite a good system. The rest of my vacation was spent resting and playing. :)

I was cooking and went to crack an egg. SOMEHOW I missed the bowl and the egg flew out of my hand landing in my....shoe.

I decided to paint my nails one night. The only problem is that it was already 2am...and then I had to wait for them to dry. I suppose that common sense goes out the window at 2am.

Teaching is going well as usual. I'm really enjoying my class this year. I've graduated from 5 students to 8. I don't remember if I said it before, but we got another girl! My one girl was overjoyed (but, of course, couldn't visibly show it) and I was happy because I had been praying for another girl. The boys groaned, but I just laughed. I've been learning right along with my students the importance of being kind, putting others first, loving people even if they don't show love to you, spending time in God's word, and just desiring God in general. We all have a long way to go, but I've seen them take big steps.

The kids were sitting in the reading corner doing a worksheet together, and one boy touched another boy's book. The reaction? "Just in case you didn't know the rule, you're not supposed to encroach on other people's property." I couldn't not laugh.

I read a quote by C.S. Lewis which reads "The safest road to hell is the gradual one. The gentle slop, soft underfoot, without sudden turning, without milestones, without signposts." Sometimes it's easy to fall into the routine of life and get comfortable with your spiritual state and just set cruise control. Spending time with God becomes less exciting and Bible reading is checked off the list of things to do for the day. There aren't any real trials or convictions of the heart, and reaching the lost seems distant. The Sunday service is good, but not applied throughout the week. Who wants to admit this? Certainly not me. Who falls into this? Definitely me. I know that if I'm not constantly in the word, fighting the devil's attacks, talking with my God, and making it a point to give my days, thoughts, actions, and words to God, I can fall into this gradual, gentle slope of life. It's comfortable, but it's not real or right. What is real is loving God and showing Him that love. I need constant reality checks about how many people are dying and going to hell every day without knowing that Jesus could have saved them from death. Constant reminders about how awesome and amazing God is and what He's done for me, His promises, and how He wants me to love Him. Maybe that's not quite what this quote is talking about, but for me, this is part of the message. God needs all that I am, and I should WANT to give it to Him out of passionate love for the One who died a horrible death for me to save me. I spit in His face, denied Him, and He still died. I don't want comfortable, I want real.

I heard a pastor say in a sermon "For a believer, this is the worst it will get. For an unbeliever, this is the best it will get." So many people don't know Jesus. I pray it breaks our hearts.

People who are close to me have been going through some trying times. I've seen them grow closer to God through it. Things that go "wrong" in our lives really aren't wrong if you think about it. Sure, it might not be what we want, but it's not wrong if it fits into God's will. I think of Joseph. He was treated rather unfairly by most people's standards, and He had a hard road. But in the end, God made it known that evil was meant against Joseph, but God meant it for good. He had a specific plan, right down to the last detail, that He carried out in His time and for His glory. (Genesis 50:20) So, people rejecting God, dying, money being lost, a broken home, anything. Some might be results of sin, but God always has a plan that He works out for His glory and for the good of His children. (Romans 8:28)

I love the passage Ephesians 1:3-14. I went through the passage in my Bible and highlighted all the things God has done for us. Blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing, chose us in Him, predestined us in love, adopted us, redeemed us with His blood, forgave our trespasses, sent Christ, united us in Him, gave us an inheritance, and sealed us with the Holy Spirit. And I'm sure He did this because He realized how amazing we were and how much we loved Him. UNTRUE. He did this: according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, according to the riches of His grace, in all wisdom and insight, according to His purpose, as a plan for the fulness of time, according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, and to the praise of His glory. God didn't do all these things because we were lovely or good. We're quite the opposite. He did this so that we might see how wonderful He is and turn right around and praise Him. He did this so that He might receive the glory. He did this because it fit with His will. God didn't need to love us, but He chose to. He doesn't need any of our works, but He desires them. God needs us to be humble and therefore exalt Him. God needs us to love others and in that show love to Him. God needs us to praise Him and give Him all the glory for everything in our lives. We're worthless, but God is worth more than words can say. His love to us should be worth that much as well. It is a thing of unmeasurable beauty and grace completely undeserved.

God is the only thing we need, right? If that is so, He should be able to give and take as He pleases, right? He should be able to take our money, health, time, loved ones, plans, possessions, and anything else, right? And He should be able to do all of this without us complaining, whining, worrying, becoming angry, grumbling, getting frustrated or being anxious, right? Yes. If God is truly all that we need, life should pass with us placing our complete trust in God that He will supply all that we need and that His will is perfect.

"But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." Acts 20:24

This is one of my favorite verses. I want to own this verse and believe it with all my heart. My life is worthless unless I place it in God's hands to do with it what He pleases. Unless I abandon all else and follow solely after God with my purpose being to tell others about what He's done and in doing so to glorify Him.

Peace.