Sunshine and Rainbows

The valleys, storms, and heartache of this life will so quickly be forgotten when, in heaven, we look on the beautiful face of our Lord. He will wipe our tears that we cried for our sins and for the sins that plague the world. We'll stand in awe of his nail scars and be bathed in the light of God. A sinless place where we'll cast our crowns at the feet of God. No night, no fear, no sorrow. In thought of all this, how can we worry or complain through the fire now? We have so great a reward waiting beyond the gates of heaven. The beautiful face of our Lord. The words we long to hear if we have been faithful: well done. These thoughts make this life's trouble seem so small.

One more week. My first year done. Wow! 10 days until I leave Korea and move on for a while. My heart...I need to taste China. Strange as it might sound, I desire it. But God has a place for me elsewhere, and how can I argue with that? :) Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Once I finally set sail for China and root myself in that great country, I'll not have to leave if God wills. If it's in his plan for my life. My life, though, I want it to be a life of a devoted servant. Quietly and faithfully serving my Master wherever he needs me. A life given to telling others of his love. Of serving others. My greatest need is that Christ is shown in me and not me in me. I've struggled with that all along, but God gives MUCH undeserved grace.

Does the extent of your sin overwhelm you? Not enough is that true for me. But when it does, wow. My heart feels like it'll break because...why? Why pardon me? Why see me filthy and vile and love that? God the greatest one. Who am I then to look on anyone, even the lowest, and judge and not love them.

I tell you what, this year has been up and down. But through all the loops...guess who has been faitfhul. That's an easy one. God. God who never changes even through life's many changes. God who never goes back on His word or betrays us or forgets our needs or leaves us to fend for ourselves. More and more I see each day that without God, where in the world would I be? I don't really even want to think of that.

I struggle with the thought that I haven't done enough for God this year. I haven't shared the gospel with those around me enough. I haven't given God enough of my time and love. I haven't worked hard enough in my job. I haven't shown Him in my life enough. But after all that, I get forgiveness. I get grace and mercy and the ability to confess my sins, have them forgiven, and move on to serve God more fully. That's pretty amazing. Thanks to God. I think of it as a piece of silver. It gets really tarnished...it's not pretty and looks pretty worthless. The more I do my own thing and not God's, I become covered in the grime of the world. Then Jesus comes and I ask him to take it away. He polishes me and once again, I'm bright and beautiful and Jesus' light is shown once again. The dullness is gone, and my life shows the brilliance of my God.

So here I go. Papers to grade, a house to pack and clean, people to love, and God to serve. Please pray that all my travels are safe this summer and that I can show God wherever I go.