Rejoice In My Hope

I will boast in my weakness

So Your power is shown

And be patient in trials

For You’re still my song

I will lay all my worries

At the feet of Peace

Keep my mind on Jehovah

Who gives joy to me

So my eyes will never leave your face

When I walk on the waves

And when fighting Goliaths

I can never be afraid

You work all things for good

For those who love you, Lord

I’ll be patient in trials

And rejoice in my hope

I will sing in the prison

Though broken and faint

Knowing chains cannot keep me

From giving You praise

Though I fall and I struggle

To understand Your will

Lord you constantly show me

You’re leading me still

So my eyes will never leave your face

When I walk on the waves

And when fighting Goliaths

I can never be afraid

You work all things for good

For those who love you, Lord

I’ll be patient in trials

And rejoice in my hope

When affliction has ended

I’ll look back on the way

And I’ll see how you held me

Every moment of each day

Everyday

The light hits the branches

Bare of flowers

For winter winds are

Howling still

And though it is bitter

Still there's sunshine

For Jesus Christ is

Ruling still

Let faith though small

Never die

For the way that Jesus leads you

Is always right

And though the snow

Comes down in blizzards

Let faith though small

Never die

The parched ground is cracking

Dry and dusty

In misery I

Cannot sing

And though it is scorching

Though I'm thirsting

My Jesus Christ is

A gushing spring

Let faith though small

Never die

For the way that Jesus leads you

Is always right

And though the sun

Is unrelenting

Let faith though small

Never die

I feel like I've been chomping at the bit to get back to China. Don't get me wrong, I love LOVE my job here, but China is still a-burnin' in my heart. A good friend reminded me that the grass is always greener on the other side. That we have to find contentment where we are now and not wish for something else and think that we'll be content once we have it. I've had to pray and ask for forgiveness lately about this. I want to just do what God gives me to do right here and right now where I am. I don't want to think that maybe life will really start once I get to China. It's already started...a long time ago. Besides, it's not about the place, it's about the souls. So Brooklyn, China, or anywhere else, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that I am glorifying God in EVERYTHING and telling others about salvation and God's love. End of story. So, I'm humbled again. Forgiven, and on my way to contentment. Again.

Life is still life around here. I was able to spend five whole days with my boys during their midwinter break. I don't remember getting a midwinter break when I was in school! Hmph. We went to the Natural History Museum, saw a sea lion show and sharks at the aquarium, hunted for shells (about 50 of them) on the beach, kicked balls at the park on a gorgeous day, and painted pottery on a rainy, lazy Friday afternoon. It was fun/tiring/challenging/rewarding/many other things. While the boys played at the park, I wrote in my journal and described the day. This is what I wrote:

The bare winter branches are just silhouettes against a cloudy sky. Patches of brilliant blue threaten to break through the gloom and the sun struggles to shine through the drab gray. Now it's shining on the page, casting a shadow of my hand and the pen. I'm sitting on the edge of a long meadow on grass that wishes it was green but is still brown in patches. Sometimes the breeze blows the residual leaves that litter the grass and send them upward in tiny tornadoes. It's been a very mild winter by NYC standards. We've only had three tiny dumps of snow that are nothing to write home about. So right now, on the verge of March and Spring, I sit in the park with the sleeves of my gray sweater rolled up while the boys kick balls around in the meadow. It's beautiful, and it's made my God.

And no matter how much I describe the scene around me, I could never even come close to painting an accurate picture of nature in its full beauty as God created it. The smells, the light and shadows, the feel of the wind, the sound of the branches rustling...never. And to think that God spoke this all into existence to be enjoyed by sinful humans who destroy it with their wastefulness. I'm so thankful for nature. Yes, even for rain.

I'm loving my recently purchased bike! Today I rode a measly 7.5 miles. I need to step it up if I want to ride across the country. I'll have to ride 60+ miles a day! When I'm so tired and I come to a big hill, I yell at myself inside my head, "How do you think you're going to ride across the Rocky's when you can't even climb this minuscule hill!?" It usually works. There's something about riding your bike that's so...freeing. Knowing that you don't have to pump dollars into your gas tank, that you're getting exercise while going much faster than walking or running, and that you can explore and explore the city to your heart's content. I found that riding in Korea really helped me to learn my way around Seoul. I knew many parts of that city like the back of my hand. The bike paths in SK were better than NYC, and I could ride on the sidewalk there, but it's good here too. I've been able to ride down to the beach, only about 8 miles one way, and around my neighborhood. Yes, having wheels is definitely a good thing!

A couple weeks ago, the pastor was speaking from Acts and the topic of his message was how God works in unconventional ways. He gave the examples of Saul, a hater and persecutor of Christians turned servant of the Lord on fire for God, Phillip, being sent to the desert to witness to the Ethiopian eunuch, and so on. I noticed that God uses many people throughout history that were just common, everyday people with little or no power or influence. I think of Esther, who was just an everyday Jew. God brought her to the palace to be the new Queen so that she could save her people. The little boy who was walking with his small lunch, and Jesus used it to feed 5000+ people. The widow with only one pot of oil left. Rahab. David. And the list goes on. People who were just common folks, living their lives. So many people, sometimes myself included, don't think that God can use them because they're not particularly smart, don't have some great degree, don't have any extra special gifts, have speech problems, are physically weak, etc. But God doesn't need someone who is smart and strong and powerful (though He can use those people as well.) God wants someone who is simply willing. It's not our power, anyways. It's God's power. If we just say "yes" and let God use us to carry out His plan, then we're good to go. God CAN use the "little people" to do big things. God will use the people who are given to him completely.

Jesus

You have saved me

Bought my life

With your own blood

Change me

Make me like you

In your likeness

Beautiful

I'm fully yours

I give my everything

For you to use, my Lord

This is my offering

My heart and life

My hands and feet

For what you've given me

I give you everything

Use me

For your glory

Use my lips

To tell your grace

Send me

Where you need me

In the valleys

Be my strength

I'm fully yours

I give my everything

For you to use, my Lord

This is my offering

My thoughts and words

My breath and life

For what you've given me

I give you everything

Time to do the dishes, fold laundry, and feed the dog. The kids are snug as a bug in a rug sleeping soundly. It was a great day today, and I'm looking forward to another great one tomorrow. Every day that we wake up and breathe another breath is a gift and a good day. Peace!

Psalm 86

Lord, hear the prayer

From poor and needy lips

From one who trusts in you

You are my God

Make my soul glad

To you I lift my soul

And in my deepest need

You answer me

There is no one

Like you, the only God

Worthy of glorious praise

From every tongue

For you are great

And you do wondrous things

Nations will bow the knee

Praising their King

Teach me your way

Show me the path to take

Lead me in righteousness

Lead me in truth

Help me to walk

Close to your side, oh God

That I may never stray

From you my Guide

Your love abounds

Lord you are merciful

Gracious and faithful, God

I will give thanks

With my whole heart

I will exalt your name

Praise you for all my days

Great is your love

When you are closest to God, the devil is closest to you.

A Portrait of My God: King of Kings

I was standing in the kitchen making banana bread (which didn't turn out, by the way) while watching the rain on the kitchen window. I few minutes later I turned back to the window to watch the...snow? Yes, snow in October. It began falling at 11:30am, and it's still falling at 2:32pm. It's beautiful but early.

I was thinking how awesome it is that God did a couple things. First, He makes the deciduous trees lose their broad leaves in the fall. If they don't lose their leave before the snow comes, their leaves will gather the snow, make the leave too heavy, and the branches will break under their weight (which is what is happening in my backyard...) He also makes the coniferous trees to be shaped like...cones...which ensures that the snow will slide off and not gather too much on the leaves. Because of this, they can stay green all year round. Second, God does not make any two snow flakes the same. I was watching thousands of snowflakes fall right outside my little kitchen window, and they were all different from one another. And that's just outside my small window. Amazing Creator God.

Seeing snow like this makes me picture the little children in China (and all over the world) who are not only without moms and dads, but also without homes, coats, blankets, gloves, and food. I miss China...

So, as you can imagine, it's very cold here now. I'm talking gloves, hats, scarves, coats, and boots kind of cold. And cold and flu season kind of cold. Speaking of flu seasons, I was petrified because I was going to have to get my flu shot. When I went to the doctor, she offered me the option of getting a nasal spray in place of the needle. It was ELATED! Anyone who knows me know that I faint every time I get a needle. I wanted to hug her, but I refrained. :D

No other name can make all nations

Bow down in a worship of a King

One who is worthy of all honor

More than the praises we can sing

No other kingdom lasts forever

With no beginning and no end

No other King can save His people

Rescue their souls from hell and death

You, oh God

Are the King above all King

To you alone

We lift our voices and we sing

Worthy is the Lord

Worthy are you, God

We lift our eyes in awe

To the King of Kings

We stand in wonder at the mention

That you were born a little babe

You came in obedience to your Father

Knowing the price that you must pay

You took the nails, the crown, the vict'ry

Now we can see an empty grave

No other King would have such mercy

That He would die so we'd be saved

You, oh God

Are the Lord above all Lord

And you alone

We worship and adore

Worthy is the Lamb

Worthy are you, God

We lift our eyes in awe

To the King of Kings

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!

Peace.

I'm Back in the Blogging Spirit...

It's fall again. This year, I'm in a different place yet again. For being a large, crowded city, there are quite a few trees in NYC. And Central Park in the fall...don't even get me started! Now, if only I had my camera.

Ah yes, my camera. It's like the extension of my hand. My third eye. Alas, it began refusing to take pictures, so I had to take it to the repair shop. They're still working on making Elvira all better, but I'm missing many opportunities. Absence makes the heart grow fonder...or so they say.

Yes, NYC is beautiful in the fall. The leaves are slowly changing color, and the air only recently became crisp and cold. Today was the epitome of a gorgeous fall day. I still, on occasion, wear flip flops. I'm sure people think, "She's crazy!" in their heads, but I just think, "I despise shoes." So it all evens out, and we're good to go. I just can't bring myself to cram my feet into shoes before it's absolutely necessary (meaning: before my toes go numb and turn blue.)

In other news (because I know how much you care about my flip flops and camera), I went to an exhibit called Dialogue in the Dark. In short, you are given a blind person's walking cane and a guide who is legally blind. A group of people are then led through a series of rooms that are meant to simulate popular spots in NYC. Some spots include Central Park, Times Square, the subway, a grocery store, and a cafe. The catch is that you are led through these rooms in pitch blackness. It is as if you are blind. As I stood outside waiting for our guide to begin the tour, I thought, "What am I getting myself into?" As the lights went down, I thought this again. Only this time, it was too late. Initially, it was quite challenging, but as time went on it became less so. The guide encouraged us to "look" around using our hands. We "saw" bicycles, garbage cans, bushes, water, fruits and veggies, milk, ketchup, pasta, a subway car, trucks, etc. We could smell flowers, hear people talking, hear horns honking, and smell hot dog stands. The guide led us in crossing the street in Times Square, and riding the subway felt quite real. Ok, so that wasn't exactly "in short," but you get the idea. I would do it again!

I've been going through China withdrawal in the last few days. Sometimes I feel so far away from China, and sometimes I feel so close that I can almost smell the good and not so good smells, hear the language, feel the air, and see the people. Unless God changes it, my plan is to stay in NYC for 3 years. I know it's going to feel long and short, hard and easy. When I miss China is when it will be the worst, but I know that once I finally get there, it'll all be worth it. I'm needed here for now. I know why. There are several reasons, but a couple stand out to me more. God has a plan, and I want to say "yes" to each small step on a daily basis. Like I've said before, He's handing me life piece by piece. He can see the whole picture on the puzzle box, and He knows how all the pieces fit together. I just have to trust Him that He will give me everything in His perfect timing.

I noticed that places like NYC are very materialistic. I'm sure anyone in their right mind would agree with me. I'm trying to distance myself from that while still living in the middle of it. It's so easy to get comfortable and want more and more and more. I need to be saving for my future in China, and I need to remember every day that if I have God, I have all that I need. He's everything that I could ever want and ever need.

If you took everything I have

My possessions and my health

All the ones I love so much

I'd still praise you

And if I walked through endless trials

And you led me through the fire

I'd still believe that you

Are more than enough

God you're my hope

You are my strength

You are my peace

You're all I need

Lord you're my love

My dearest friend

I will love you without end

You're all I need

I will go, follow if you call

And I'll trust you as my guide

Dangers cannot make me fear

I know you're near

Lord if you send me far away

Far from everything I know

I'd still have faith that you

Are more than enough

God you're my joy

You are my wealth

You're my desire

You're all I need

Lord you're my guide

My very life

I will love you without end

You're all I need

God you're my all

On you I call

You lift me up

You're all I need

Lord I will praise

Your precious name

I will love you without end

You're all I need

I pray that if I ever end up like Job, I'll still be able to say this.

The kidlets are sound asleep now. They must have been tired, because they slept after only about 10 minutes. A new world record! The kidlets on:

The new babysitter: "Are you going to tell Casey when she comes that Penelope (dog) is small?" (said in a extremely serious tone)

Soup: "I love every kind of soup except the other kinds of soup."

Bedtime: "One time daddy said that we could skip bed, and we never did so I want to skip bed this time."

Bathroom: "This is hard work!"

Baths: "Warm, deep baths are so lovely."

Eating veggies before eating pizza: "My tummy is too full for veggies but not too full for pizza."

Not being able to go to school due to sickness: "This is really hard for me!" (said while wailing)

The Halloween decorations that Grammy and Grampy sent: "I love these decorations. We should send some back to Grammy and Grampy so they can have some too."

Nap time on a cloudless summer afternoon: "I can't sleep because I just saw lightning."

What to do on their day off: "We should go on a boat to the Statue of Liverty!"

Taking laundry from the washer to the dryer: "I can't make this sheet come out of the washer even though I pulled so hardly!"

Oh yes, gotta love kidletisms. I'm sure there will be more to come! Peace

A Portrait of My God: Comforter

Sometimes things happen that just make us hurt inside. Sometimes we have physical pain. It's never going to stop until we're in Heaven, but God's promises are going to last and be shown to us. God is our comforter, and we can trust His promises and rest in His love.

He has it all planned out to work for His glory and our good. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

He promises rest. Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

He promises peace. John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. Not as world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

He promises to give us what we need. Philippians 4:19 "And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

He promises strength. Isaiah 40:29+31 "He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength...but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

He promises joy. Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life, if your presence there is fulness of joy, at your right hand there are pleasures forever more."

These are just a few of His promises. No matter what comes along in our lives, God will be our comfort and strength and give us what we need to continue serving Him.

I come before your throne of grace

And you are please to receive me

Burdens so great I cannot stand

You bid me rest

You wrap me in your sweet embrace

As I begin to praise your name

Lord in my greatest need you're there

My comforter

Jesus you take my load

And make it your own

Hold me and make me

At peace

Father here in your arms

I find true joy even in pain

By your sweet grace

My comforter

You pour your blessings out on me

I am renewed and given strength

You lead me beside still waters

My souls's restored

You've promised not to leave my side

Even in storms and darkest nights

You promise peace and lasting joy

My comforter

A Portrait of My God: Creator

I recently took the kids to the park on a gorgeous Thursday afternoon so that they could throw around their frisbees. I played with them for about an hour, and then I sat down on the grass to relax. The sky was blue with only a few lazy clouds, the air was crisp and cool, and the leaves in the park were just beginning to change color. A perfect fall day. And I couldn't help but think of all the awesome things that God created for me to enjoy on that day. (awesome- inspiring awe, characterized by awe) I began to think of all the things that He made that I'll probably never see. Stars too many to count in massive galaxies that we'll never be able to see, snow flakes that are so different from one another that no two are the same, the deepest part of the ocean that holds creatures that no one will discover, the simple beauty of a clear blue sky, thunder and lightning, anything from a gentle breeze to a hurricane, how a baby grows in the womb and is born a tiny tiny human, and many more wonderful things that God has created.

I love reading Genesis 1 where creation is described. God just spoke it into being and called it good. He gave us a great blessing when He gave us His creation. And we're part of that creation, too. Just think of the complexities of our bodies. The bazillions of cells and how our bodies repair themselves, things like hair and our vision and so many more amazing aspects. No, those DEFINITELY could not have been created by a big bang and slowly evolved. No sir. God made a creation that we can hardly begin to understand. But it sure is beautiful.

From the unknown ocean depths

To the galaxies unseen

In a tiny baby's eyes

And a strong and towering tree

In the beauty of a rose

The uncertainty of breath

In every sunrise, sunset

Lord we see your awesomeness

You are the Creator

The Sustainer of life

You make the seasons change

And the moon to rise at night

I look around me

And I see all you have made

You delight to give us beauty

In all that you create

As the sun comes through the trees

And the gentle breezes blow

In the clouds that change and fade

And the tiny flowers that grow

In each flake of gentle snow

Where no two can be the same

For the beauty, splendor

Lord we praise your mighty name

You are the Creator

The Sustainer of life

You make the seasons change

And the moon to rise at night

I look around me

And I see all you have made

You delight to give us beauty

In all that you create